NOTE: this review was originally written before the release of this film. Now that I've actually seen the movie I think my review holds up pretty well.
I haven’t gotten around to seeing this film, but I’ve watched lots of commercials….
There’s a lot of hype surrounding this movie--End of an Era, Smashing All Revenue Records, etc.—and from the TV commercials I’ve seen, all the hoopla just might be justified. Assuming, of course, you’re rooting for Lord Valdemort (yeah, insufferable dorks, I said His Name) to finally kill that top-billed little bastard.
I mean really, what does the character of Harry Potter actually bring to the table? Has he ever accomplished anything of significance on his own? I haven’t seen it. There’s usually a much more effective adult waiting in the wings to feed him vital info, point him in the right direction, or magically pull a friggin’ sword out of their ass at the last moment.
And let’s not forget his dysfunctional pair of friends: Hermione, the uber-annoying know-it-all who (between bouts of bipolarism where she suddenly starts yelling and crying in her trademark, Academy-worthy, overacting style) is the only hero in these movies that seems to be competent in any way.
And Ron, the sad clown who can’t afford a proper wand. This character seems to hold no actual purpose—presumably falling off the Hogwart’s short bus for the specific purpose of standing between Harry & any combatant spells. At best, an underprivileged human shield.
And yet, Harry is our hero? It’s true—just ask any ten year old girl. Which is why, as a Sedentologist, I so enjoy these films! Harry Potter is the Poster Child for Denianetics. He literally stumbles along doing nothing on his own, and yet he always wins in the end, even garnering our admiration & loyalty. He’s a glowing Icon of Slack for our younger generation to emulate.
The Lessons children learn from this film series may as well have been ripped from the pages of Un-motivational Theory. One doesn’t need to have any special talents or skills to succeed in this World. In fact, one doesn’t really need to do anything on one’s own. Just surround yourself with people who can.
J.Bear’s Rating: 5 Well-worn Ass-Craters in my Couch Cushions.
Cons: Like its predecessors, this film no doubt perpetuates the fallacy that Good will always triumph over Evil, despite the fact that Good is portrayed as clumsy & annoying, while Evil is so cool & interesting. I also have no reason to believe that the characters, plot, or acting, will be any less aggravating, or formulaic, than the earlier films.
Pros: The underlying Sedentological theme of these films will no doubt continue in this final chapter, making Harry’s disappointing survival a more than equitable trade-off. As long as they don’t magically resurrect that asinine goblin, Jar-Jar Dobby (the killing of whom should have earned the director an Oscar for Pitiful Mercy), this film will undoubtedly stand as one of the Greatest Movies encapsulating the principles of Denianetics Ever Made.